


“To Chernobyl with Love.” [ Sebastian Stan / Tom Hiddleston - One Shot ].

by A_Wolf



Category: British Actor RPF, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: A.Wölf, Multi, Theartofimagining, Tumblr, theartofimagining13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wolf/pseuds/A_Wolf
Summary: Based on: Imagine: You’ve had an open relationship with Tom for the last two years and even though he agreed to it, he’s been having a hard time because you have a recurrent lover named Sebastian who comes and goes and makes a mess every time. He drives you crazy when he looks for you and you disappear on Tom for days to spend them in your lover’s bed. Then, when Sebastian leaves again, Tom has to witness just how sad you get even though you put on a smile for him. It makes him question everything. What you don’t know, is that Tom is 100% faithful. He even agreed to the open relationship fully knowing that he didn’t need that. He was head over heels in love with you, but he also knew that you needed a certain freedom. But he can’t take it anymore. He wants Sebastian out of the picture for good but hasn’t found the courage to tell you yet for fear of losing you or knowing what truly keeps you going back to Sebastian.
Relationships: Tom Hiddleston/Sebastian Stan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	“To Chernobyl with Love.” [ Sebastian Stan / Tom Hiddleston - One Shot ].

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t get involved in toxic relationships, you guys. Leave that for fiction.

**Originally posted at** : [The Art of Imagining](http://theartofimagining13.tumblr.com/).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

Have you ever heard the sound a Geiger counter makes when it detects radiation?

I’ve always felt like I have one somewhere inside my body that helps me read people. If I don’t feel or hear the clicking noise in my head, then they’re safe to be around. However, if I do and get this uneasy feeling or weird vibe, I steer clear. It’s like my superpower. An instinct that had kept my heart shielded for a very long time. But the worst part is when you decide to ignore it for the sake of much needed adventure or because you feel like you might be able to tame a beast, and therefore choose to deafen yourself to the wild clicking in your head.

That’s when I met him.

Sebastian was so goddamned beautiful but he was also toxic as fuck. As I got to know him, I began to overlook all these red flags. The clicking from my inner Geiger counter kept getting worse as time went by, and for a moment, I even thought I had arrived in Pripyat somehow. But he came across as very charming and confident so seeing women going after him wasn’t a surprise, and even though I wasn’t interested in him in the beginning, which he was aware of, he cunningly managed to have me wrapped around his finger after a few months.

And then there was Tom, and nothing but complete silence when I met him. He exuded such a soothing vibe that I was unavoidably attracted to after being involved with Mr.Chernobyl. But the thing about Sebastian was that he would come and go as he pleased and I just couldn’t help myself. Tom and I had agreed to take it slow and have an open relationship, and the one rule was not to talk to each other about our other lovers.

* * *

It had started to rain when Tom was making love to me. It hadn’t rained in months. And as I laid there, comfortably wrapped in his sheets, I should’ve known that it was nothing but a warning. Tom walked into the bedroom holding two cups of coffee even though it was 7:21pm, and placed them on the nightstand before adjusting himself next to me.

 _“I made reservations at the steakhouse for 9:00.”_ He announced. _“I know it’s raining but-”_

 _“I’m in.”_ I interrupted him while getting on top of him.

He immediately placed his hands on my waist and looked up at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He knew I wanted more, and I could feel he did too and confirmed it when he tightened his grasp and sat up for his lips to reach mine in a desperate kiss.

 _“We have to get ready.”_ I teased.

 _“Shower with me then.”_ He murmured.

I broke the kiss, bit my lip and nodded with a smile. I got off him and he stood up, and as he walked towards the bathroom, my phone buzzed on the nightstand.

That’s all it took for my heart rate to go up and for me to know that Sebastian was in town and he wanted to see me. I just kept staring at the screen. I know how this goes; We have a couple of wonderful days together, he showers me with love and attention, and then, he disappears again.

 _“Are you coming?”_ Tom pulled me out of my trance.

I stared at him like a deer in headlights.

_“I’m right behind you.”_ I lied.

Tom wasn’t stupid. He could sense that his reservation was about to be cancelled. I looked at the text again and started typing away, like a drug addict in need finally getting a hold of her dealer. And it didn’t take Sebastian two seconds to respond. He would do that whenever he was craving me, and he’d text every single day and countless times. But I knew when he was about to disappear again because he would do the exact opposite. I counted with my fingers and realized I hadn’t seen him in four months. And just like that, I took a big sip of coffee and changed into my clothes in a rush. I yelled at Tom a silly excuse behind the bathroom door and got out of there.

* * *

Sebastian picked me up at my place around 10pm which gave me enough time to shower and get ready. I thought my heart would leap out of my chest when his car pulled up. I got in. He looked at me. His greeting was cold but he gave me a hint of a smile when he motioned at the backseat for me to see two bottles of our favorite wine. And he drove off so we could lock ourselves in a hotel with a beach view.

The second we were behind closed doors, he did what he hadn’t done in the car. He grabbed me and desperately crashed his lips against mine as I ran my fingers through his hair.

_“You’re so hot.”_ He breathed out. _“I couldn’t wait to have you in my arms.”_

And that was just the beginning of a long list of compliments to come. I was so addicted to it. To the ego boost. Not that Tom didn’t compliment me but it was the way Sebastian said things; with such desire and a stupid look on his face while he kissed me as if I were the most beautiful woman in the world and he was the ugliest and luckiest man ever. I was addicted to it all, the thought of Sebastian being obsessed with me. And I believed him. But it was the other way around. 

He begged me to ride him. He often complained about other women not being as good in bed or attractive. He even claimed to have learned new things with me. Now, I knew I wasn’t the only one but I didn’t care because I felt chosen and it turned me on. We fucked and drank wine straight from the bottles, and fucked again touching each other with indescribable hunger. He never failed to tell me how beautiful I was afterwards.

And if I’m being completely honest with myself, the sex wasn’t even that good. Tom was better, but being with Sebastian gave me such an adrenaline rush.

And of course, after a few days, he was silent and gone again.

* * *

The withdrawal syndrome hit harder each time.

I guess a part of me thought that I wouldn’t have to go through it this time. That Sebastian would stay, but that never happened and it made it difficult to get out of bed and easy to waste hours staring into nothingness while replaying the most exciting parts in my head or re-reading old conversations on my phone. Waiting for him to text me again, and basically sucking on the memory of him to feel alive and make sure it hadn’t been a dream.

Tom had dropped by with my favorite takeout and every time his blue eyes found mine, I could see my pain reflected in them. But what he didn’t know is that he made it easier for me to deal with it all because the first time Sebastian left, I was completely alone and the healing process was exhaustingly long.

_“We need to talk.”_ He said in a very serious tone.

I sat up on the couch and instinctively wrapped the gray throw around me because his tone hinted that I was in trouble.

_“You cannot go on like this.”_ He added.

_“What do you mean?”_

Tom seemed nervous and hesitant.

_“I know I might lose you but,”_ He swallowed hard. _“I am so sick of seeing you like this every time he leaves you.”_

What was he doing? How did he know? I was starting to feel the anger rising within me after finding out that my dirty little secret wasn’t so secret after all.

_“I have to witness how you lose the glisten in your eyes and the interest in everything you love. You don’t enjoy anything, you barely talk, and you’re never present.”_

He was starting to sound like a father but I suddenly realized I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed out loud.

_“You’re worried because your hair is falling out but you know it’s the stress of endlessly wondering why he’s not calling you, isn’t it?”_

I snapped.

_“How the fuck do you know about him?”_

_“Oh, I have my ways, darling.”_

Had he followed us? Had he looked at my phone, or had he hired a private investigator? I couldn’t deal with it. I stood up to leave.

_“I never butt in when it comes to your lovers, Thomas.”_ I said as I walked into my bedroom.

But before I could shut the door, I noticed Tom had followed me and he stopped it with his right hand to speak.

“ _If you truly believe I need to be with someone else if I have you, it just goes to show how little you love yourself.”_

I was wide-eyed and shaking with anger.

_“Then why did you agree to this?”_ I asked between gritted teeth.

And the argument continued in my bedroom.

_“Because I knew you needed it. I understand that you’re young and you haven’t lived enough to commit to me and not hate me for it in the future, but I am way past that.”_ He was staring into my soul and his eyes were welling up with angry tears. _“And when you told me you wanted an open relationship I knew there was someone you weren’t ready to let go of, so I accepted hoping it would change.”_

Tom had a look on his face as if he had just realized that he had spoken too much but there was no going back at this point.

_“I see what he does to you and it makes me want to fucking kill him._ _So, it’s clear that I’m not okay with it anymore.”_ He confessed.

I frowned, and my stomach clenched. I suddenly felt that I could lose Tom as well, and the selfish thought of being alone with my grief again started to eat me alive.

_“What do you want me to do?”_ I inquired.

_“I want you to realize the kind of man that he is and that he’s far from worthy of you.”_

Was he? Maybe _I_ wasn’t worthy of him which is why he left. I didn’t deserve him or the distraction in my life. I guess Tom could see the inner self-pity because he got closer to me and cupped my face in his hands.

_“You don’t deserve to be treated like this. If it’s so easy for him to leave, and not speak to you or touch you for days and days, then let him stay gone because he’s an idiot.”_ Tom murmured. _“You recover and there he is again as if he could sense it. He shows up, gets what he wants and leaves again. Darling, he’s nothing but a selfish prick.”_

That hurt. My state of denial tried to come up with something to retort but I had nothing. Sebastian never even let me talk about personal things. He was the one who was always having a hard time and wanted to be listened. Truth hurts and reality breaks hearts. A big lump formed in my throat but I wasn’t going to cry. Not anymore. Why was I subjecting myself to this indeed? I somehow wanted to inflict the same pain on him this time.

I gently moved away from Tom and I heard him sigh defeated.

_“Listen, I don’t know if you’re in love with him or not… but I can’t do this anymore.”_

There it was.

_“I am going away for a while. I’m getting on a train in two hours.”_

I was numb at this point. And my knees started to shake when he walked out of the room. I followed him without thinking twice and watched as he put on his coat to leave.

_“If I’ve managed to bring some sense back into you and you’re willing to leave this behind, then meet me at the station.”_ He said without allowing his blue eyes to find me. I could see that he was afraid of my answer. _“If you, however, decide stay and wait for him to give you a call, then I do need you to understand that I will not be here to pick up the pieces again.”_

Was there a life without Sebastian? He had become a recurring character in the story of my life. Could I truly just kick him out of it and carry on without ever seeing him again? Could I delete his number or ignore his next call, and let him fade away, lose meaning and just become a bittersweet memory? What was the purpose then? Why did we meet and devoured each other if we would end up becoming a pair of strangers in the end? To me, it sounded like giving up. But then again, what effort was Sebastian putting into keeping me in his life?

Actions speak louder than words, they say.

Tom finally walked towards the door but slightly turned his head to speak over his shoulder one last time before departing.

_“I’m leaving this up to you.”_

And then, he was gone.


End file.
